‘Tis The Season For Separation

So the Christmas tree is up and all the presents purchased.  Everyone says Christmas is a time when families get together and watch a Christmas movie, everyone forgives each other and all is happy and peaceful in the world.  So now let’s get real.  The fact is that more couples separate around the Christmas period than at any other time of the year. Statistically, Australia has approximately ten thousand couples filing for divorce at the end of the festive season.

So why is this the case?

Now I am no psychologist but here is what I have noticed in over 20 years of helping families in Family Law.

• Throughout the year, couples who are struggling in a relationship are able to limit the amount of time they spend together. One or both work, the children have school and sports to attend, in essence, lives are busy.  By not spending much time together it allows the couple to not address those important questions about their relationship.  In other words, couples put it in the basket to be dealt with at a later time.  Unfortunately, at some point, the basket needs to be sorted.
• In some relationships, people take the view that they will simply ride out the relationship until after the Christmas holidays, so as to not upset the other person or the children. Maybe the children are going through exams and they want to make sure the children are not disrupted at a crucial time.
• Christmas time comes around, the kids have finished school for the year, businesses sometimes shut down and both people are forced to have time off for the holidays. Sometimes couples spend more continuous time together for the Christmas holidays than they do all year.  This can lead to growing tensions.

• Then we get to the actual Christmas day festivities. Here families are forced together by a moral compass that tells them they should spend time together despite the fact that no one gets along and one person would rather gnaw their own arm off than spend more than 5 minutes with a family member.  Add to this emotionally strained day, some alcohol and the errand negative comment and you have the catalyst for some serious arguments. The straw breaks and one person just simply cannot carry on in the relationship any further and speaks up.

Now obviously there are many reasons why people separate but this trend is one that I have been exposed to over the years.

So now that there is a separation, what next, what do you do? Who has the kids for the rest of the holidays? Who do I speak to when all law firms are closed?

The first thing to note is that you don’t have to rush into anything quickly.  There are no rules as to what should occur at separation.  If you choose to you can stay or leave the residence.  Hopefully, you are able to decide between yourself in relation to the children for the holiday period.  If you are not able to come to an agreement then again there are no rules as to what should occur, however, it is important to consider the degree of disruption to the children when determining what should occur.

It is important that you secure financial accounts to ensure that you and the other party have funds available to you over the holiday period.  If you are concerned that the other person may try to sell off assets or hide away funds, then it is prudent to secure these items.

Finally, while most firms will be closed for the Christmas period, remember:

If you need legal advice during this Christmas period, then Queensland Family Law Practice is available to help you. Call us on (07) 3172 3777 or jump on to our live chat below where one of our care team will help you.